;)
Five Minutes With Thomas Dyja
Friday, March 13, 2009 at 10:39PM 
MY BRUSH WITH THE CUBS:
Don Kessinger came to my school when I was in second grade. I know this only from a vestigial memory of a very tall man (who was not a priest) signing pictures and Sister Mary Francella handing me one. I still have the picture.
WHO WERE YOU?:
A plump seven-year-old. While batting, I was usually Ernie Banks because you couldn’t honestly copy Billy Williams’s swing. In the field, Glenn Beckert because you got to lay out, which was maybe not always such a graceful thing for a plump seven-year-old.
WORKING ON:
A book about Chicago in the Fifties.
HISTORICAL FIGURE I’D HIRE TO MANAGE THE CUBS:
Ulysses S. Grant. He’d keep throwing people out there all summer until they won and he’d shoot the deserters. Plus, it would be fun to see someone in the dugout nipping at a flask.
THE CUB I’D MOST WANT TO LIVE INDEFINITELY IN MY BASEMENT:
Since I live in an apartment building, that would mean he’d be my Super. In which case, I’m thinking I want somebody handy, a utility guy. So I guess I have to say Paul Popovich.
MOST CHERISHED CUBS MEMORY:
Watching the rebroadcast of the Phillies-Cubs ’79 Slugfest during one of those awful winters. Nothing sums up the Cubs better than replaying a game they LOST in order to cheer people up.
BEST PIECE OF CUBS MEMORABILIA:
My old scorecards from the Seventies, with my lame scorekeeping and the kind of ugly, kind of beautiful covers.
THE CUBS WILL WIN IT ALL IN 2009 BECAUSE:
It was Felix Pie that was holding them back.
THE CUBS WON’T WIN IT ALL IN 2009 BECAUSE:
President Obama (a notorious Southsider) will sign an executive order forbidding it.
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Want More Thomas?
- Read "The Old Is New Again," Don Evans' profile of him
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